Waiting...

In life we wait for big things to happen. We wait, but usually prepare for the event to happen. Exams in school, a big trip, a wedding day, etc. There is a lot of preparation that go into these events, but there comes a point in time where you have done all of the preparation you know to do and you just have to wait for the moment to come. It's emminent. It will happen, but you have to wait for the moment.

Never in my life have I waited for something like this. Yesterday was the official due date of this baby inside me. You wait for that day to come and then it passes and then you have to readjust. And, no matter how much you try to prepare for it, you know that there is no way you can prepare for what is about to happen. Your life is about to change forever in ways that you can try to imagine or relate to, but you don't really know.

You try to prepare: you read books, do online research, ask all friends and family and strangers about their experiences, and even pay heed to your crazy dreams you have about it all.

The double whammy to all of this is that you know it's emminent. The baby will be born and you won't be pregnant forever (although you don't feel that to be true quiet often). BUT, there is no guarantee on all of the pieces between point A and point B. When you travel you have a plane ticket with time, location, date, etc. When you get married, you have a date, location, time, and program (that YOU made, mind you). When you have a baby, there is none of that. You know you're pregnant and you know the baby will come out, but what happens inbetween those two facts is totally unknown.

Part of me loves the not knowing. It's the wonder and miracle that is this whole ordeal. I love that doctors can tell you what is happening but can't tell you why it is happening. Of course they can't - it's a miracle that God is doing. I certainly don't have any control over it.

It will all happen in His perfect timing. He knows all of the details, so in that there is peace.